Friday, January 05, 2007

I'm baack

Sorry, no pictures to post today. Just got back in town day before yesterday. I'm sick with the respiratory grunge, and am feeling pretty lousy. I'm going to try and do some art today if I can keep myself vertical long enough.

My trip back east to visit my family was a great one. It's the first actual Christmas I've spent with them in probably 12 years. We had a lot of quality time together, and it was good to get away from the stress in my life right now. We ate tons of good food, took lots of walks, went shopping (one of my most favorite activities), to the movies, and just generally relaxed.

2007 is going to be a year of huge changes. My move to Portland in the spring is a definite, and I look forward to it with a combination of excitement and anxiety. Things at home here in Phoenix are strained and painful. The connection I sensed with my partner several weeks back is gone, replaced with anger and emotional distance. I realized while I was away that the situation here was hurting me and I needed to end it. I have been feeling badly about myself and my self-esteem is in the toilet. So it's time to cut my losses and start over.

We are going to be in the same house with one another till I leave, and that's going to be difficult. Once school starts I'll have a lot going on, which will help. Till then, I'll focus on taking care of myself and most importantly getting over this cold-thing!


Heidi said...

It's good to hear that you made a decision about Portland. What a fantastic place to begin a new chapter. Now that it's definite, you can spend a lot of your energy looking forward to that exciting event and less towards the strains and disappointments of 2006. 2007 will be a very exciting year for you. I can't wait to see what the change of scenery will do for you.

d. said...

I agree with need the change. You can focus on that and school and not worry about the uncertainty. I think that's been a problem mixed in with the rest. Let's get together soon for coffe, K?

missfestival said...

My mother mentioned your move and the split a while back. (Maybe even as far back as Lisa's wedding?) My heart goes out to you. I can hardly believe that someone as grown-up and kind hearted as you would ever say that your self esteem is in the toilet. Anyway, this post is farther back than today so I reckon you are feeling at least a little stronger. You'll be celebrating again soon.